yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
