Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
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