if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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