Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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