3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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