why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drake has all the answers
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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