The brown eye won't let me do that either.
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
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