turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
