Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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