He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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