as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
