Jerry, you need to find god
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Randomize
