I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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