Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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