please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
