Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
