Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
Randomize
