is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
Randomize
