i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
