They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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