so explain again why im purple
no
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize