32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize
