You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
Randomize
