dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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