I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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