The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
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