Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
COCAINE IS GR8
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
