Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
