I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
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