don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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