1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
