oh god the rape fog is back!
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
