I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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