i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
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We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
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I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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