Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
