You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
