i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
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