I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Randomize
