Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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