Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
