considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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