How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
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