Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
Randomize
