you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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