No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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