hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize