Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Randomize
