i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
