are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
