so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
