Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
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