yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
