And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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