i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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