This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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