i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
