found the other keg... it's in the tree
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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