and you said cock pushups were impossible
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
